Lately I've been struggling with what God wanted me to do with my life. I'd fallen into that pit where everything seemed frozen in place and no matter how hard you tried nothing changed. I'd become too comfortable in my life as a Christian, nothing really pushed me forward, but nothing was holding me back. I wasn't rebelling against God, but I wasn't putting out an effort either.
The other day my mom and I went to the our local christian book store where I came across a book by the Harris brothers called Do Hard Things, which is the inspiration of this post. If you're not already aware of the movement they started dubbed the Rebelution you can check their blog out here: The Rebelution
The Don't Attitude
I've been aware of the Rebelution since my later middle school years. The concept was one I agreed with. A revolution to 'Do Hard Things' and rebellion against the low expectations our world has set for teenagers seemed like the ideal way to stand up for Christ. I became what you would call a silent revolutionary, the type that doesn't follow what the world deems as normal behavior, but also the type that doesn't try to counter that bad behavior. My attitude became one of "well they do that and I don't". My thought process was trying to justify my own actions, or lack thereof by comparing myself to what some might call 'gross' sins. I didn't drink, smoke, or party. I was still (and still will be until I'm married) a virgin, unlike most girls my age. I didn't cuss or lash out at my parents.
Questions
Just because I wasn't doing these things didn't mean I was following God's will for my life. If you're chasing after God with all your heart then you're going to have a desire to serve him in every aspect of your life. The problem was that desire had been pushed aside, neglected, and all but forgotten a long time ago. No I didn't drink or go to parties, but was I trying to reach out to the ones who did? I was still a virgin, but was I trying to keep my heart and mind equally pure? My teenage years have been accepting of what my parents said was right and wrong, but was I taking those truths to heart? Life was moving around me at a fast pace and I was stuck in a rut. I was tired of standing around doing nothing, but how could I do things for Christ when the great things I wanted to do seemed so far and distant? Something had to change before I could move.
Attitude Check
Back to the Rebelution and the Harris brothers. All these years of being stuck in a rut I still considered myself to be a rebelitionary, because like I said following the world wasn't something I did. But I'd never read their book or really followed what the Rebelution was all about. Maybe if I had my attitude would have changed sooner. I knew God had big plans for me, but the greatness of them seemed to hard. Then we came across the Do Hard Things book. Maybe this would show me what I was doing wrong, maybe it would show me how to do big things for Christ. But instead of telling me how to fix things or do something grand it kept throwing everything back on God. I had to trust God to get me out of that rut and not my own strength. I had to let God guide my feet instead of trying map out a path of my own. My first question was, "but when do I start getting to do big things? Aren't you going to tell me how to do them?" In my blind stubbornness I was skipping over the key points. They had already shown me how to get out of the rut and how to start living a life according to God's plan! All I had to do was be willing to follow. Finally the light turned on and I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I'd already wasted valuable years of my life which could have been used to serve the Lord. Instead I had spent those years trying to rely on my own strength to accomplish the things laid on my heart. But my strength is imperfect and I needed help. The attitude change was so simple, but I'd made it hard.
Doing Hard Things
Giving my life back over to God didn't have to be a hard thing. I'd just been so focused on other things that they got in the way. I finally stopped looking around at all the things I wanted to do and looked toward God. I'd been at a cross roads, confused between where to turn, but once my eyes were opened the right path was pointed out. That desire to love Jesus, to really love him with all my heart come back to me. That's when I realized I didn't need to do something 'great' to follow Jesus. I just needed to follow Him and he would do the great and amazing. The things I did for Him didn't need to be extravagant. It was the small things that counted. In my own struggle to serve Christ I had confused 'hard' with 'great'. The simple things were the hardest. Doing them in Jesus' name with the right attitude was what made them important. Now I'm ready to start doing hard things with the right attitude- with the 'do' attitude. I want to let Christ do these things through me. Not through my own strength but through His. How about you? Have you fallen into the rut of life? Are you confusing 'hard' things and standing up for Christ with 'big' and 'great' things? Are you struggling with your own desires? If so pray. Ask God to renew the desire to follow His will, ask Him to lead a guide you. Give up the struggle and give your whole life over to God.
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